Talking to a Narcissist? Look for These 7 Signs – Imagine this: You’re sharing an exciting story about a recent promotion at work, detailing the challenges you overcame and the lessons you learned.
But instead of celebrating your win or asking thoughtful follow-up questions, the person across from you interrupts with, “Oh, that reminds me of my time as team lead—let me tell you how much harder it was for me.” Suddenly, the spotlight shifts away from you, leaving you feeling unheard and unimportant.
Sound familiar? This kind of interaction might be a sign of conversational narcissism, a term coined by sociologist Charles Derber to describe self-centered communication behaviors that prioritize one’s own experiences over others’.
While occasional interruptions or tangents are normal in conversation, consistently steering dialogue back to oneself can erode trust and intimacy in relationships. Let’s explore seven behavioral signs of conversational narcissism—and why they matter.
Table of Contents
1. Frequent Interruptions
We’ve all been interrupted mid-sentence, but chronic interrupters rarely notice—or care—about the impact. Research shows that frequent interruptions can make speakers feel dismissed or undervalued, especially if the interrupter uses the moment to pivot to their own agenda.
I once had a colleague who would cut me off every time I shared updates during meetings. At first, I chalked it up to enthusiasm, but eventually, I realized he wasn’t listening—he was waiting for his turn to speak.
Over time, these interactions left me hesitant to share ideas, knowing they’d likely get overshadowed.
Why it matters: Interrupting disrupts the flow of conversation and signals a lack of respect for the speaker’s thoughts. Healthy communication requires patience and attentiveness.
Also Read: How to Become More Magnetic Over Time
2. One-Upmanship
Ever share something challenging, only to have someone respond with a bigger, badder version of your experience? For example, mentioning a stressful day might prompt them to launch into a monologue about their “much worse” week.
A friend once confided in me about struggling with burnout. Instead of offering support, another mutual acquaintance chimed in with tales of working 80-hour weeks while training for a marathon.
While she may not have intended harm, her response minimized my friend’s feelings and shifted focus entirely onto herself.
Why it matters: One-upmanship invalidates emotions and creates competition where none is needed. Empathy fosters connection; comparison breeds disconnection.
3. Pivoting Conversations Back to Themselves
This hallmark of conversational narcissism involves redirecting any topic back to the listener’s life. Whether subtle or blatant, this behavior sends a clear message: “Your story isn’t as interesting as mine.”
During a family dinner years ago, I excitedly recounted a hiking trip I’d taken. Within seconds, a relative interjected, “Oh, hiking? I used to climb mountains when I was younger—you wouldn’t believe some of the places I’ve been!” My adventure suddenly felt insignificant compared to their grand exploits.
Why it matters: Constant pivoting prevents meaningful exchange and leaves others feeling like props in someone else’s narrative. True engagement means staying present in the moment.
Also Read: 7 Evening Habits of People Who Protect Their Energy & Mind
4. Overusing “I” Statements
While using “I” statements is encouraged in expressing personal feelings, overdoing it can signal excessive self-focus. If nearly every sentence begins with “I,” it suggests the speaker prioritizes their perspective above all else.
In college, I dated someone who couldn’t stop talking about themselves. Every group outing turned into a showcase of their achievements, opinions, and preferences.
Eventually, conversations felt less like dialogues and more like solo performances—with me relegated to audience member status.
Why it matters: Balance is key. Relationships thrive on reciprocity, where both parties contribute equally to the conversation.
5. Neglecting Follow-Up Questions
Asking follow-up questions demonstrates genuine interest in what someone has to say. Conversely, failing to ask them reveals disengagement—or worse, indifference.
Once, after sharing news about moving cities, a friend responded with silence before launching into unrelated gossip.
Their failure to ask even basic questions (“How do you feel about the move?” or “What made you decide to go there?”) stung more than I expected. It felt like my life update didn’t merit curiosity.
Why it matters: Thoughtful follow-ups deepen understanding and strengthen bonds. They show that you value the other person’s experiences enough to dig deeper.
6. Dominating Airtime
Some people naturally love to talk, but dominating conversations without giving others space to chime in crosses a line. Studies suggest that equal speaking time correlates with higher relationship satisfaction, highlighting the importance of balance.
At networking events, I’ve encountered individuals who monopolize discussions, barely pausing for breath.
By the end of our exchange, I walk away exhausted—and no closer to knowing anything about them beyond surface-level details.
Why it matters: Conversation should feel like a dance, not a lecture. Sharing airtime ensures everyone feels included and valued.
7. Dismissive Responses
Finally, dismissing someone’s input outright—whether through sarcasm, criticism, or outright rejection—can shut down communication entirely. Dismissive responses invalidate the speaker’s contribution and discourage future openness.
A former coworker once brushed off my suggestion in a brainstorming session with a curt, “That’ll never work.”
Not only did it kill my enthusiasm, but it also stifled creativity within the group. Ideas flourish when nurtured, not squashed.
Why it matters: Validation doesn’t mean agreement—it means acknowledging effort and perspective. Respectful discourse invites collaboration rather than defensiveness.
Also Read: 6 Things Truly Happy People Never Chase, Says Psychology
Building Healthier Connections Through Mutual Respect
Recognizing these signs of conversational narcissism isn’t about labeling others (or ourselves) as “toxic.” Instead, it’s about cultivating awareness and fostering healthier ways of connecting.
After all, we’re human—we slip into self-centered patterns sometimes. What matters is our willingness to course-correct.
Healthy communication thrives on mutual respect and emotional balance. It means listening actively, asking thoughtful questions, and resisting the urge to hijack conversations.
When we approach interactions with empathy and humility, we create spaces where everyone feels seen, heard, and valued.
So next time you find yourself in a conversation, pause and reflect: Am I truly engaging with this person, or am I simply waiting for my turn to shine? Small shifts in behavior can lead to profound changes in relationships. And isn’t that worth striving for?
Because at its heart, good communication isn’t just about exchanging words—it’s about building bridges. And those bridges start with listening.
